Back at Home from "Going Home"

As an adult, I often feel anxious going "home" to visit my parents. For me, I find it stressful sometimes as a "grown child" with almost "grown" children of my own to go back to a place where I spent much of my life, following orders. It took me a VERY long time to realize and admit that all of my experiences as a child, growing up in that home, were not positive experiences for my development as an adult and I've spent many days and nights replaying episodes in my life that still cause me anguish to this day. I no longer carry anger in my heart for these experiences as I know I am the person I am today as a result of them. And most days, I am pleased with the person I've become. So what about those other days? I love my parents for who they were then and who they are now. I know in my heart that each and every day of my life they loved me and still love me, the very best they could and can, with everything they could and can. And the feeling is mutual! With this knowledge, I am at peace with my childhood and the way I was raised. And I love my parents for who they are and for who they've allowed me to be.